Tempo Bridge Dialogue


Whatran: Hey. Would you rather have hooks for hands, or buckets for feet?

1a- "Hooks for hands."
Frogatto: Hooks for hands.
Whatran: Really? I think it would be easier to walk on bucket feet than it’d be to hold stuff with hook hands.
Frogatto: Probably, but I think my life would be more impacted by difficulty walking.
Whatran: Understandable. Okay, here’s one: (go to 2)

1b- "Buckets for feet."
Frogatto: Buckets for feet.
Whatran: I agree. I could still get around that way.
Whatran: Okay, here’s one: (go to 2)

1c: "What?"
Frogatto: What?
Whatran: Sorry, I just get really bored standing here all day. (go to 4)

Whatran: Would you rather not bathe for a year, or share a studio apartment with someone who didn’t?

2a: "Not bathe for a year."
Frogatto: Not bathe for a year.
Whatran: I’m not sure you fully understand the health risks of not bathing.
Frogatto: I don’t care. I could get used to my own smell more than someone else’s.
Whatran: Fair enough. All right, another one: (go to 3)

2b: "Share a studio apartment."
Frogatto: I’d rather share a studio apartment with someone who didn’t bathe.
Whatran: Me too! The place would stink either way, but at least you’d feel clean.
Whatran: All right, another one: (go to 3)

2c: "I don’t want to do either of those!"
Frogatto: I don’t want to do either of those!
Whatran: I know, but what if you had to pick one?
Frogatto: It’s irrelevant. That will never happen.
Whatran: Aw, you’re no fun.
Frogatto: Neither is this.
Whatran: I’m sorry. I just get so bored standing here all day. (go to 4)

Whatran: Would you rather have thumbs instead of teeth, or only be able to see people’s insides?

3a: "Thumbs instead of teeth."
Frogatto: I’d rather have thumbs instead of teeth.
Whatran: Are you sure? You’d be a pariah.
Frogatto: Yeah, but who cares what people think when I can punch them in the face with my mouth?
Whatran: To each his own, I suppose.
Whatran: Hey, thanks for humoring me. It’s quite boring out here. (go to 4)

3b: "Only see people’s insides."
Frogatto: I’d rather only be able to see people’s insides.
Whatran: Good choice. It wouldn’t impair your functionality once you got used to it.
Whatran: Hey, thanks for humoring me. It’s quite boring out here. (go to 4)

3c: "Ew. Nope. We’re done."
Frogatto: Ew. Nope. We’re done. Now you’re just getting creepy.
Whatran: I’m sorry. When I’m left alone with my thoughts all day, I go to weird places. (go to 4)

Frogatto: What are you doing out here, anyway?
Whatran: I’m on guard duty.
Frogatto: What are you guarding against?
Whatran: We’ve got a bit of a mushroom problem.
Frogatto: Mushroom… problem?
Whatran: Oh. You haven’t heard?
Frogatto: How much trouble can a mushroom make?
Whatran: Do you want the long story or the short story?

4a: "Make it quick."
Frogatto: The short story. I’m kind of in a hurry.
Whatran: Basically, the toxic swamp has made sentient mushrooms.
Whatran: They’re walking around killing things.
Frogatto: Wow, that’s crazy. What are you doing about it?
Whatran: Just delaying them. This bridge keeps them from advancing into town.
Frogatto: Okay. Can I cross?
Whatran: I wouldn’t recommend that.
Frogatto: But it’s the only way to go east, right?
Whatran: Well, yes, but…
Frogatto: Then I don’t really have a choice.
Whatran: Suit yourself. Anyway, I’ll be here all day if you want to ask about anything else.

4b: "I’ve got time."
Whatran: Well, on the other side of this cliff is a swamp.
Whatran: We never really went there. Never had a reason.
Frogatto: Of course. Who wants to hang out in a swamp?
Whatran: Exactly. So at first, we didn’t care too much when it started getting worse.
Whatran: It was just little things, like the leaves turning weird colors, or the air finding different ways to smell terrible.
Whatran: But then the trees started dying.
Whatran: Entirely new species of vegetation sprung up to take their place.
Whatran: The water turned poisonous.
Frogatto: Sorry to interrupt, but this sounds kind of… dramatic.
Frogatto: Are you just entertaining yourself again?
Whatran: No! If this wasn’t true, why would I even be standing guard out here in the first place?
Frogatto: Perhaps because you forgot that plants don’t invade villages?
Whatran: Well…
Frogatto: Oh. (go to 5)

(the dialogue continues the same regardless of the player’s choice)
5a: I…
5b: Um…

Whatran: Finally, the mushrooms started moving.
Frogatto: Like a flytrap?
Whatran: No, they’ve got legs. They walk.
Frogatto: That’s not good.
Whatran: No. It is not even a little bit good.
Whatran: We’ve never dealt with anything like this before.
Whatran: Luckily, we were able to band together in the face of crisis.
Whatran: We don’t have the military presence to kill the mushrooms as quickly as they grow.
Whatran: But we knocked down the bridge that used to be here.
Whatran: That was enough to keep them out of the village.
Frogatto: But now you’ve got a pulley system in case someone wants to cross?
Whatran: Sure. If someone wanted to cross.
Frogatto: Yeah, about that…
Whatran: You can’t possibly be serious.
Frogatto: I wish I wasn’t, but I have something to take care of and I can’t let even nature’s wrath stand in my way.
Whatran: Whatever you say. Anyway, there’s always someone out here, so you won’t have to worry about getting back here.
Whatran: Let me know if you need anything else. It sure would break up the monotony.


After the initial conversation:

Whatran: Anything else you wanted to ask about?

(Just one choice, then dialogue ends)

1: "What do these mushrooms do?"
Frogatto: So I get that these mushrooms are dangerous, but how exactly?
Whatran: It depends. I’ve seen all kind of ridiculous mutations.
Whatran: They can regenerate pretty quickly.
Whatran: Some of them have nasty teeth.
Whatran: Others attack with spores.
Whatran: And who knows what kind of crazy crap is happening deeper in the swamp?

2: "Is there anything else to watch out for?"
Frogatto: Are there any other dangers out there? You know, besides sentient killer mushrooms.
Whatran: Yeah, the swamp was home to some other animals.
Whatran: They were ill-tempered years ago, so I’m sure the toxic vapors haven’t improved their mood.
Whatran: And as a general rule, you probably shouldn’t eat anything you find.
Frogatto: Thank you for the sagely advice. I don’t know what I’d do without you.

3: "How can I kill these mushrooms?"
Frogatto: Have you discovered anything they’re weak against, in particular?
Whatran: No, but there are plenty of ways to take them out.
Whatran: Bullets, blades, blistering blazes, blunt bludgeons, black blight…
Frogatto: Stop alliterating and be serious, I’m going to be in real danger here.
Whatran: Sorry. Have I told you how boring it is out here?
Whatran: Really though, killing them isn’t the problem. It’s their overwhelming numbers and their poisonous nature.

4: "Has anyone else been down there?"
Frogatto: Has anyone else actually gone to the swamp?
Whatran: A few folks came by a couple of weeks ago, needing to head that way.
Whatran: No idea how that went for them. I don’t want to assume the worst, but they sure didn’t come back here.
Whatran: And I’ve never seen anything friendly come out of the swamp.

5: "How bad is the water?"
Frogatto: You mentioned the swamp was poisonous. How bad is it?
Whatran: Well, a buddy of mine stepped in some goop. It burned him pretty badly, but he healed up after a day or two.
Whatran: That was just on the other end of the bridge, though. That swamp is huge.
Whatran: I don’t know what it’s like a few miles in, but just play it safe and don’t go swimming.

6: "Ask me another question."
Frogatto: Come on, give me another one.
Whatran: Okay. Would you rather eat a bucket full of broken glass…
Frogatto: You know, on second thought, I should get moving.