Ralph's Reprimand


(Ralph and Milgram stand near some machinery. Milgram is operating some controls)
Milgram: I can’t believe I need to explain this to you.
Ralph: But it was horrible! And green! I’ve never seen anything move that fast!
Milgram: I’m not mad about that. That amount of resistance was unforeseeable.
Milgram: But honestly, what did you expect them to do?
Milgram: You marched in and started locking people in cages.
Milgram: At that point, it doesn’t matter what your motive is. People won’t take kindly to that sort of treatment.
(Beeping sound)
Milgram: Ah. Reconstruction’s finished.
(Milgram pushes a button and a kitty pops out of the machinery)
Milgram: State your name!
Kitty: Java.
Milgram: State your assignment!
Kitty: Private first class.
(Milgram sighs)
Milgram: Report to Dr. Boots for a full evaluation.
Kitty: Yes sir!
(The kitty leaves. Ralph pushes another button)
Milgram: Just because I have everyone’s memories backed up doesn’t mean they’re expendable.
Milgram: Transplanting personalities into a new body is an imperfect science.
Milgram: Case in point, now one of our best engineers thinks she’s a front line soldier!
Ralph: …oh.
Milgram: I like you, Ralph, which is why I give you a bit of autonomy in your operations.
Milgram: But what were you doing? Just handing weapons out to whomever you could find?
Ralph: I… um…
Ralph: Yes. I’m… sorry, sir.
Milgram: Good to know.
Milgram: And thankfully, we can undo these losses. But you’ve set us back a few months.
Milgram: My point is, overt violence might be convenient, but it’s rarely the best option.
Milgram: The fact that we can out-muscle our neighbors doesn’t mean that we should.
Milgram: If you push people hard enough, it’s only a matter of time before they push back.
Milgram: And as today has demonstrated, we can’t win every fight.
Milgram: Which is why it pays to have a bit of good will.
Ralph: Yes, sir.
Milgram: Tact and discretion. Remember that.
(Another beep. Milgram pushes a button and a kitty comes out)
Milgram: State your name.
Kitty: Lord Nippy Whiskertips!
Milgram: Ralph, one of these days…


I like this. :slight_smile:


Sounds like something from Dark City. pretty funny stuff though